January 2012
20 posts
when its cold outside...
John Legend - Refuge
i pray for better days to come, i pray that i could see the sun, but life can be so burdensome when, every days a rainy one… but suddenly theres no more clouds, and i believe without a doubt… that heaven sent an angel down, and she turned my life around…
you know that i know, friends come and friends go, storms rise and winds blow, but one thing i know for...
"too many mind"
i should be happy right? i still feel like i’m being forgotten about. i’m trying to keep a straight face through all this, but it’s not easy. i guess i’m still pushing too hard and expecting too much right now. i screwed up monumentally and can’t just expect things to go right back to how they were. well i guess i should just bide my time. i really, really miss...
who am i kidding...? (kicking & screaming)
i’m so stuck on this girl and there’s no getting out anytime soon. just knowing someone’s moving in on her is killing me inside, whether she’s with it or not. i came back from breakfast feeling great but, that just sent me right back to last week. got that drowning feeling in my stomach and chest again…still just trying to accept everything that’s going on. but...
In another life...
…I would make you stay, so I don’t have to say you were the one that got away.
“We’d keep all our promises, be us against the world.” ~ I can’t think of a line more appropriate.
Love love love that song! How utterly appropriate that it’s popular now, at least here anyway because everything’s late.
Some days are better than others, and this is one...
learning to let go...
i’m not mad. i’ll be honest though, i’m still hurt and deeply saddened. but there is a side of me that’s happy. happy to know that nothing here can hurt me as bad as losing you; no matter if i’m hurt, shot, blown up, whatever else. everything else is minuscule in comparison to the heartache i’ve been feeling compared to losing you. i’m happy you’re...
when darkness is all around...
…her smile lights up my life.
#71 - her smile.
even like now, in the worst of times, seeing her smile, even in a photo, can bring me strength. her smile is beauty, in all aspects. it’s something that i miss dearly. and when times are difficult, i pull out a picture of her and i and i look at her beautiful, smiling face. i’m so glad that for a brief moment in time, i was able to...
i write this with a heavy heart...
there have been many times when you asked for time away, a break, to see if this is what you really wanted. i remember them all so clearly now. i hope that it isn’t really over, that this is just one of those times where you need a break to really reassess the value of our relationship. i know you’ve been out and socializing and living your life. you have every right to. but while...
how could you just forget about me..?
no, i’m not being ma arte, this is truly agonizing. it’s like someone is standing on my chest 24/7. i can’t breathe. i’m drowning. it’s like i have no pulse, food has no taste, nothing is the same. this is so painful.
i’ve never prayed so much for anything in my life.
i don’t know what’s going on anymore and i hope you haven’t yet moved on...
i just want her back...
i’ve been praying so hard every night to the point of tears just to be her one and only again and to have things the way they used to be. i will be a better person, a better boyfriend and an amazing husband, i just need a shot. please God, if there’s anything you could give me it would be to open her eyes and her heart again to know how hurt and sincere i am about everything i’m...
Heaven is for real, because I've been there...
#72 - her embrace.
she is tiny, and she is petite. but don’t be fooled, for her love spans the oceans. when people ask questions about the existence of a heaven, i can confidently say i believe it’s exists, because i’ve been there, and it’s in her arms. the cruel and unjust part about this all is that our relationship has always been long distance, so my time being in her...
maybe we're not crazy...
maybe it’s just the world around us that is crazy. look at us, we’re just two lovebirds, thrown into the craziest of situations. people who saw our relationship from the beginning probably thought we had no chance in hell to make it. you’re right, it was never the distance, it was me. but, we’re both gonna have our times where we are really awful to each other, and maybe...
i messed up plenty of times...
but if two people really love each other, they work it out. i know that the way i was acting didn’t show the love you deserved, but i am truly whole heartedly ready to change, i mean that. i know you know that i love you so much, and i know deep down you still love me too. i want to be your everything again. i know you mean business, i should have always known and never let it get this far,...
i Promise...
remember that time where we had a fight and you said that we should write each other a promise to really make things clear? well, if i wasn’t so stupid and lazy i would’ve realized that this is what i had wanted to do all along, to clearly define what we want out of this relationship. i know you’ve told me several times it’s too late for everything, but if you could just...
73 days until R&R...
so until then or when i’m told to stop, i’ll name one thing that i love about you every single day until i get to see and hold you again.
#73: i don’t want to start off too obvious, so i’ll go with your voice.
i know that i’ve foolishly missed a lot of opportunities in getting to speak/skype with you while i’ve been away, but the truth of the matter is that...
i know, i did exactly all that and worse. i went and screwed it all up. i know this. and i know you’ve given me so many chances that i never deserved. you’ve given me everything, sacrificed so much, hurt so deeply and shed so many tears, all because i was too foolish to see what was going on. but this is my hope: i’m holding on to the words you wrote me in this letter. they are...
...i miss her
…so bad it hurts. i’m so sorry. i was wrong all along. i guess i have some self destructive behavior and tendencies, please help me get through them. i took everything for granted and now i have nothing. i made a lot of mistakes, but please find it in your heart to give me one more chance. i know i’ve had a million other chances, but if i screw up after having this realization...
February 2, 2010 - 4:19am
Isabea: ok ok fine.. it's YOUR story. happy!
Antonio: not really. minus the Y and i'll feel better.
