#72 - her embrace.

she is tiny, and she is petite. but don’t be fooled, for her love spans the oceans. when people ask questions about the existence of a heaven, i can confidently say i believe it’s exists, because i’ve been there, and it’s in her arms. the cruel and unjust part about this all is that our relationship has always been long distance, so my time being in her arms has been fleeting, and in the blink of an eye the moment is over. but for the opportunity to have been there, even just a few times, i can say with a full heart that i’d give anything to be back there. when she holds me, i feel enveloped in this warmth that cannot be explained. it permeates through all physical boundaries and you can feel it deep within your heart. thank you, Isabea for holding me and allowing me to hold you and one day i hope we can be in each others’ arms again.

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if you’re waiting for me to move on, then you’re out of luck because it won’t happen. which in turn means i’m out of luck too because it means you’ll never speak to me again. i’ll admit, i’ve tried reaching out to friends but no one has even given me the time of day except for my mom, my friend jr from NY and my brother. it’s the only support system i have: my family. you’re right and you’ve been right all along. if it takes removing people to get you back, i’ll do it. because now and forever, i need you here with me. please, you have to understand that there are only two things in this world that i want. 1: for you to be happy, and 2: for me to be the reason you’re happy. i know for the millionth time that i have screwed up more times than i can count, but baby please…it’s breaking my heart to see that you’ve forgotten about me already, or at least that’s what it looks like. i’m here crying, every day. not just because i miss you, but because my views on everything have changed. i see how bad i hurt you and i can recall the hurt in your eyes and words and it hurts me just knowing that i did that to you. please, my love. this was never like any other relationship that exists today. i know what it all sounds like: that i’m just using sweet words to try to fool you and win you back. i swear on everything that’s not it. i want you and me forever, working with each other to bring true happiness and love to one another for the rest of our lives. i also respect the fact that you need to be social and better yourself that way. there will be times i get jealous if there are a lot of guys but i can’t help that. you know i never wanted to hold you back. maybe it is hopeless, but when you truly love someone, you fight for them, no matter how bad it hurts when they push you away. please babe, start over with me again and i’ll won’t let you down.